Not actually happy with chapter 3 or 4 or 5 also I learnt about POV

Sorry, sorry, not post blah blah, that’s normal really isn’t it. I have a lot to say but no time to say it. In this quick post, I just wanted to touch on why I’ve torn out a few chapters, combined a few others and rewritten more things. Since I’m new to this writing lark I’ve been absorbing as much info as I can on how to do it well. I’ve found some wonderful youtube channels and podcasts which I’ll link below. In the course of my learnings it became apparent I wasn’t using perspective properly, I wasn’t even aware of what perspective I was using, (badly). It also highlighted some problems with my point of view, in that it was weak and prone to change for no good reason. I’ll probably do a blog post on each subject and what I was doing wrong but for the time being, I just wanted to layout the changes I made and why I felt they were needed.

The first change I made, was to combine chapters 3 and 4, they were very short and were both meant to develop Lithia as a character so there was no reason to separate them. What was previously chapter 4 I’ve taken out of Becket’s point of view and rewritten it from Lithia’s. We were meant to learn about her during those scenes and having it told from her perspective allowed that. I also added a much better intro to Lithia’s strike suit. There’s meant to be a strong attachment between the character and her armour, and the intro I gave it was completely drab, you wouldn’t have paid any attention. I will probably revisit the introduction again to see if I can get it even more poignant, but it’s a massive improvement.

Examining the point of view I was using in the former chapter 5, now chapter 4, I defaulted to Becket because we ended the previous (very short) chapter with Becket’s, but with that now passed onto Lithia it didn’t quite gel. With the first half told from Becket then switching to Terra it was a mess, The whole thing was a mess actually, let me illustrate. The prologue was told from Mateo/Zara, chapter 1 & 2 from Lithia 3 from Becket, 4 from Becket Terra & Rhea, 6 from Rhea. A complete mess see. If I was using third person omniscient I could work around that, possibly, but I’d decided third person limited was best for my first story and I was head hopping heavily, no good. So now everything up to chapter 3 was Lithia, she’s the main character, we learned a lot about her and the world, all good. From chapter 4 I needed to decide who told the most interesting story, who grew the most or who did we discover the most about. That’s where our point of view lay, we learn a little about Becket and Terra through dialogue, but they are already established, confident and sure of themselves, not much room to tell a story. Rhea, on the other hand, is talented but unsure of herself, has been thrown into unfamiliar surroundings and has an undisclosed need to succeed. Much more potential for growth. That’s where my POV should be. In the course of re-writing chapters 5 and 6 to be from Rhea’s perspective, I went further than just changing the words for a new perspective and ended up telling much more about Rhea’s past than I originally intended. It was info that was going to be revealed at some point, but now as soon as we switch to Rhea’s point of view we know a little of her past and her admiration for the Colonel, I wasn’t sure if this was wise. It wasn’t an info dump, but more was revealed than I planned initially, but I think this was needed for what I have planned later.

In the end, I also realised I was showing not telling and this let me get a lot more feeling into the chapters. I’d love to hear any feed back you have, I haven’t fully rewritten 4 yet but the first half is there.

Chapter 3

Chapter 4




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